sometimes I tug on my anal hairs for pleasure
you've officially gone too far. we are no longer friends
Sry I left before you woke up. The house was really fucked up and I didn't feel like helping you clean. PS Somebody threw up on your dog
all her text said was "asdfhdaufhudshfuds" and i knew that meant come over
I puked in the pool and didn't tell them, then they all went swimming. Is it dick to just sit back and enjoy the show?
The bartender just started bringing me gin and tonic in a pint glass to save himself trips...
I don't have enough holes for all these australians
The Fresno prostitute seemed offended all I wanted from her was directions back to the freeway.
I just found pizaa roll in my hair. Already been to class today
stop calling me dude. finger blasting me officially kills you being able to call me dude.
He stopped replying so I told him I got tested and it came back positive for chlamydia to see if he replied. His phone magically works again!
He referred to our sex as being similar to "Two cheetahs cage fighting" and I have to agree.
doing the walk of shame back to your house in nothing but a bed sheet was definitely not one of my proudest moments..
He put his burrito in the bag with his dildo.
Of course he's seen my tits, I wave those things around like a trump supporter does an American flag
May I make reservations with your penis for this evening?
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