yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
I am really glad that on the inside of a card from your grandparents you have transcribed the rules for circle of death
After 12 shots he decided to show us knife tricks. You can figure out how it ended
If your wondering where your blanket is, I put it on the 2 guys you brought home last night. Their still sleeping outside on the trampoline.
Um. That's my cat Laura. You put my cat in your mouth, and then you put my cat in your purse.
If you wondered to yourself today, "did Sarah break her bathing suit strap and flash a pool full of children," the answer is yes.
First of all you're supposed to say "you're not fat". And second of all never ever deprive me of nachos.
I think a girl on my floor is watching zombie porn. There is literally no other description for the noise coming from her room.
Can we just talk about how awesome I am. I just slept with a new guy while listening to the previous guys bands cd.
Any time you've had a failed relationship, I blast No Sex for Ben by The Rapture and dance around my room. I wish I was joking.
look on the scale of 1 to the time you hit an old lady with your car chlamydia barely even rates
I guess there's no delicate way to say "I'm 90% sure I sucked his dick in the bathroom of the bar."
How do I convince my friend not to get tattoo tributes to her cats?
WHO DOES THAT
I told her it'd send up tons of red flags and she responded by telling me they're her babies. And she's sober.
Masturbating with Lord of the Rings on was not how I planned my afternoon going but here I am.
We should write a country song: “Blacked Out on a Sunday”
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