we used that portable toilet as a cooler to keep coronas. next person who tells me hospitals arn't fun needs to come party in rm 180.
i just traded a sweatshirt for margaritas... why did they ever stop using the barter system??!!
Just realized the hot girl at the office got a boob job over the Holiday.....she is now super-hot girl.
Annd you probably wouldn't of fallen down the stairs if you didn't insist on taking 'finale shots'
I have to talk to myself and be all "you are NOT horny tonight"
Time flies when you're blacked out in a lake
I find it ironic...the gays are dying to get married & I just want a fucking divorce
I spent most of the stoned conversation with my dad proving to him that the Newfoundland is an actual dog and NOT a Snuffaluffagus-esque figment of my stoned imagination, while laughing over the fact there is actually a place caller Dildo, Canada. Have YOU taken time to be a good dad today?
we need to find a way to be drinking champagne 24/7
Also, full disclose I puked in a fruit barrel box
the night literally screamed "cock and ball torture"
Seriously my new passion in life is the girth of his penis
yea so the plan to relive our college glory days was great and all but ending up in the er with alcohol poisoning was crossing the line
I'll start cleaning the house tonight darlin. So you don't have to fuck your two boytoys in the driveway the next two days.
Lol, perhaps. But the drinks are so cheap, the music is better, and the bartenders and bouncers all know my name. I can't abandon it, even if it is a gay bar, its still my Nirvana.
Randomize
