What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
This cougar at my work just said "big breasts" referring to poultry... Still resulted in a boner.
since when did accompanying a guy to a wedding mean that anal was required that night?
and he thought i came like four times in 2 mins. my leg just kept cramping up
going to the gym drunk. fuck whoever made basketball season and getting a spring break ready body in the same season.
there is no way i'm buying plan b and condoms at the same time
no do it! it shows that you acknowledge your mistakes and you are proactively working towards a solution.
I am in my freshman residence hall trying to convince an Asian man to give me my pants back. Never. Drinking. Again.
your blue lips and tongue was their first indication you were probably underage
HEY THERE IS NO AGE LIMIT ON BLUE SLUSHIES
I'm drinking straight vodka and railing lines of adderall while writing a paper about the nature of Jesus. It's 6:50 in the morning. College.
Quick question: is it impolite to pause sex to put on my knee brace?
Didn't shower and drew a couple dicks on my face before I went to work. Boss sent me home. Sacrificed my dignity for a 3 day weekend with you guys.
Honestly I don't even have room for feelings after that Taco Bell
He tried to buy me a drink at dollar beer night. All 3 of his credit cards were declined, so he asked me if I could cover it. Needless to say, I'm not calling him back.
He said I have the “Denzel Washington” of vaginas.
She woke up, mumbled "the trees" When i asked her what about them, she yelled "WE NEED THEM FOR OXYGEN," Then went back to sleep.
We need to get on her level.
Randomize
