I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
The sky will open, cue choir of angels: "oh! wow! Matt was right! Not only will I grow out my bush, but I'm going to date straight, available men!"
Great, now everyone thinks I've had giraffe semen in me
Standing here next to my mom talking to my friend trying to act like he doesn't sell me E every weekend.
The google font looked peculiar last night, but then up close I realized it was just dry vomit.
I can't tell if I miss summer or 5 times a day sex more.
The other. Cat spoke to me and left. This shit is laced
The first cat might save me but they are taking out masks
Just thought i'd let you guys know that my dad was roofied at a lesbian bar last night...
Then pass out next to me, I'll be under a pong table or a park bench. Really depends on the weather during Mifflin
Amnesty Wednesday? I'm free to do dirty things to you and you can't laugh or judge?
I told two kids in their homecoming outfits to use a condom because of Ebola. I may have saved a life last night
Burritos, beer, and hot tub sex. Merry Christmas to me.
Hey man, when I left for work she was laying on the couch naked cuddling your keurig, can you clean that mess up?
I am drunk and aggressive about the olympixs
It's spelled Olympics
Apparently his ex was into edging and did it to him so much that it takes forever for him to cum
I hate you and your multiple orgasm sexcapades
Randomize
