Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
Did I tell you he has dinosaur sheets?
Do u think I can claim pregnancy as an accident so my insurance covers it?
nailed a girl as she was wearing a darth vader shirt. Cross that one off my list.
I was wrong being drunk doesn't make accounting more interesting
Im like a co-bf. he pays for her birthday and christmas, but i get all the action.
not to mention it took an hour of antique roadshow to calm my dick down
It was fun, but I mean, any day that starts with shower tequila is bound to be good.
She's a freaking stalker dude, it's like having some kind of cartoon animal just following around everywhere
I just googled, "how to do boob makeup" thats the kind of night I wanna have.
Guess who was PASSED OUT ON A BMW. I shit you not
Stop it right now
This time face forward
I currently look like a drunken mermaid, god I love beach parties.
You know you hit Mardi Grad bottom when you come to in someone's kitchen on the floor and you are eating gumbo out of a Mixing bowl with a ladle......yeah rock fucking bottom
UPDATE: THERE IS ASS EATING. I REPEAT: THERE IS ASS EATING.
admittedly, geting that drunk in front of my last two exes wasnt a good idea
probably didn't help that you cheated on them with each other either
Randomize
