So... how did lowering your standards work out last night?
The walk of shame is far, far worse on crutches.
she won't be coming home tonight because she tried stealing a baby giraffe from the zoo
Just threw up at the bar from the heat. Fun change of pace.
I got used. This is the happiest day of my life. I was just a huge cock and that is all she needed.
Sorry for trying to force you and Robert to make out. I didn't realize how awkward it was until I woke up today.
Dude how did you get resin on my keyboard?
And I would just like to take the time to say my boobs look great today.
He was barking to the beat of "I like to fuck" and then chugged 3 beers and fell off the deck.. I should have gotten community service hours
Your cock deserves a montage
Ack! That is the first dick pic I've ever received. A) congrats B) that is way grosser than I ever thought t would be.
I am eating a king sized snickers in the strip club. Good morning.
I got so high that I ate a protein bar while in the shower. I then proceeded to leave half the protein bar and the wrapper on the ledge in my shower. Haha oh well.
We walked around last night for hours saying nothing but nom nom nom and barking at each other.
It's been three years since Kelly shit in the to go box that we put in Sam's mailbox after we broke up. Considering Sam and I are friends again, should I finally tell him?
Randomize
