I wish I could google chicago male strippers on my work computer but I don't feel like talking to HR today
I love memorial day. It's drinking in the name of patriotism. God Bless America
i'm using salt from the free peanuts to stop the bleeding.
i'm just sitting here going through her tagged pics, covering up different parts of her face to try and figure out exactly what it is that makes her so ugly.
THERE ARE ENTIRELY TOO MANY HOT UNDERAGE GIRLS HERE FOR THIS TO REMAIN LEGAL.
If I'm not up by 8, will you please knock on my door?
That depends, can you stop texting me while you're masturbating?
Touche.
I CAN STILL HEAR YOUR VIBRATOR.
You grinded and hooked up with a middle aged tiger woods look-a-like with manboobs. Tequila isn't for you.
You dont lie about slip and slides
I vaguely remember Matt shouting something about "GET ON MY LEVEL!" at the bartender before he attempted to order a case of tequila from him.
I took it upon myself to take one shot of tequila to have an excuse for hitting on my not-single coworker. It worked.
TIL a potato cannon can be loaded with dildos as ammunition. Boy, do our neighbours love us!
You helped blow my nose... Ok it's safe to say we are on a new level of relationship..
Also food confession I ate an entire bag of starburst jelly beans today. and a plan B. All around think I hit all my nutrients
there’s plenty of nice guys out there with good jobs and NO felonies!
Wasted. And I have 5 pounds of potatoes that I'm responsible for.
Randomize
