she was mega hot - except for the poop under her fingernails
You know your in college when you decide house chores with games of beer pong...
Of course she's mad at you. You Kanye Wested a picture of her catching snowflakes in her mouth. "imma let you finish but..." was the shaft and you put two of Kanye West's heads for the balls.
Whenever I don't wipe thoroughly after shitting, I just think that anyone if anyone sticks their finger up my ass, they had it coming.
woke up to 35 texts all saying im cheating on her
me and last nights hook up spent two hr. figuring out a reply we went with i love you..
I mean I found and stalk his moms facebook.. that obsessed.
She was about to go down when you guys iced me. Thanks bro
two questions - what stuff of mine was pawned and who has the pawn tickets.
As we're eating sushi she goes I just want to get a disease so my mom can take care of me... Great first date
We were ushered out of Medieval Times by a squire for making out in the torture chamber. Children were present.
I'm worried about your health. And your boobs. Actually, health, then boobs. Health first, boobs second. And third.
LETS THROW SHIT OFF THE PORCH
She was screaming and crying about how she couldn't find her middle finger. Then, she threw her body on to the pavement. Thats the last time we buy a freshmen a handle.
You are not allowed to sing ever again, my ears are still ringing.
I have all the porn. Be there soon
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