are you still at the devil's house?
it hasn't hit me that college is over yet. so far at home, i haven't brushed my teeth, taken off my makeup, or changed clothes before bed.
i think the sales of Rosetta Stone are directly related to the size of that woman's tit's
What did you even date her?
because emotionally unstable girls are great in bed.
I vomitted in the hotel where they film gossip girl last night. Everywhere.
I told the girl in his bed not to bleed on his sheets like the last one.
They asked if I was about to puke and my response was to laugh and suddenly throw up. Continuing my asshole streak I kept laughing while still vomiting.
I just did the math. It is, in fact, cheaper to go out drinking every weekend than it would be for me to pay for a legitimate therapist. What are you doing next Friday night?
They're having lesbian sex while I play super mario world. I hope they like the music
Waking up at a teachers house is a very confusing thing
Was having the best sex dream I've had in a while and only woke up when I heard my grandma fall down the stairs.
I'm so high right now that I'm wearing gloves.
I am watching xfiles and eating microwaved cookiedough, and I see nothing wrong with it.
How many times have you told me to call 911 this week?
Lol twice
I feel like my foot is being amputated. Or maybe it's the vodka. I couldn't tell you.
Randomize
