Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
i threw up in his kitchen sink and then used a measuring cup to drink water because i couldn't find a clean glass. i just threw up down the stairs. it's gonna be a long walk home.
I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
THE PICTURE OF PEPPERMINT MOCHA MADE ME WANT TO TOUCH MYSELF
as he left, i held up my fist and said "pound it out" and he was like "are you serious, we just had sex..."
Despite what happened tonight, Im still expecting Jesus birthday sex
i told you that I felt like my feet were melting into the ground and you starting blowing on them to put out the "invisible fire". thanks friend.
Drunk me thought he was hot enough to overlook the fact that he had poison ivy and still have sex with him. Sober me wants to know if you have any calamine lotion.
Heaven was on the 3rd floor and Hell was on the first. When the cop walked up he was confused as to who the noise complaint was for and wrote both apartments a noise violation.
No dude I got way too drunk to function. 90% sure I tried to FaceTime 911.
Well we did eat French fries lady-and-the-tramp style last night...
I vaguely remember making out with some dude. Please tell me he had all of his teeth.
Tent sex on an air mattress requires balance and flexibility. Not for the faint of heart
Ya that dick wasn't worth burning a perfectly good pizza.
You live and learn.
I'm a teacher who's always telling kids about the importance of due diligence, yet I'm eating an avocado out of a coffee filter because I'm too lazy to wash dishes
Randomize