Houston.. we have a drinking problem..
im pretty sure every drug dealer is going to be able to retire the day after alice in wonderland comes out
okay so i know you are missing your wallet but at least its not your tooth. i am missing my tooth.
I woke up from my nap, looked out my window, and saw about bout 6 people get tasered in less than 20 seconds.....could someone please tell me what's going on.
Omg. I bid $3000 on a cave in Afghanistan on EBay last night.
knew i was gonna lose at a shoe or be bleeding at some point. and both happened within 20 mins.
He took getting"shit in your neighbors hot tub drunk" way to literally
Ok everyone, the frat server is slow because of the 11 TB of porn on there. Either clean out your partition by Sunday or it will be erased. Thanks for your help.
There's scrapes on the inside of both my thighs.. Because we wanted to get drunk and climb trees naked.
Okay so.. What's with me and guys who have more than 2 nipples
Dude, I passed out on the side walk, lost my phone and shirt, and walked 12 miles home after I disappeared from the club
Seriously, it's 5am. STOP CREEPIN and START SLEEPIN!
Best and worst whiskey dick ever. I am hungover and can't move from the hours of sex, he on the other hand has a raw bruised dick. I win.
You told me not to tell you found out you're pregnant..
Im so sorry for peeing on your chest.
Randomize
