i knew he was a douchebag when his facebook activities were "ladeis," and "gettin crunk wit ladeis"
I walked into the bathroom and the toilet was on fire... I stood there for like a minute trying to decide whether I should put it out or get my camera.
i woke up to my roomate hitting me in the head with a can of PBR at 8:30 in the morning...i love spring break
I understand. Hypothetically what should one do after throwing up in the shower?
Haha he acted like he's never seen a tampon catapolt across the hall before
you do realize eating doritos and gatorade as a breakfast hangover cure is only acceptable for one more month - then we have to grow up
He doesn't need a wingman, he needs a miracle
She keeps stunt undies in her bag, 2 sizes too small. She leaves them behind so the guy thinks he was luckier than he was...
oh no, don't get me wrong.. she IS really pretty. If you are in to horses or Sarah Jessica Parker.
I woke up with no pants, someone elses shirt, but my new years crown still on. That is dedication.
how much ball-pain constitutes an emergency?
Just smoked a joint with the hottest patient. God I love night shifts.
I saw him and didn't have sex with him. Responsibility five!
I found you laying in a field of grass near the trail I jog on in the morning like a drunken Bambi.
I just realized this morning that my fridge is stocked with coronas, hot dogs, and cheese dip. And I just got waxed. High-five, your best friend is on track to be all kinds of slutty fun this wkd.
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