no seriously, she's legit pissed i'm late to lunch because i was watching full house. there's obviously no future here.
Let's go free Charlie Sheen and party with him
For some reason i am carrying prostate cancer brochures. i am nor used to drinking this early.
Sincerely would love to tap that, on a mountain with the wind blowing on your pubes .
I'm trying to have a "pick me up from my house so I can get completely annihilated night" any takers? Cmon people this is what friends are for
You've thrown off my entire schedule. Usually SATURDAYS are my "try to hide the jizz on my leggings" days
I was like wtf you can warn a girl like hey I have a huge dick and I fuck for hours
Someone google feeding your vagina Advil and Neosporin
I can only get day drunk because of my medicine now, so... There's that
So I considered mediating this morning and instead I master-bated...same thing right?
At least your nickname is not Plunge Slut and that nickname is not in a published thesis work
Bottom line; if I'm coming out of my bat cave to do the dishes and get a chicken wing and I have no pants or makeup on and my messy bun looks more like Santa got leprosy and crashed his sled into the back of my head then let me be. That's all I'm saying.
last time we were there you stole a tap from the toilets. How are you confused that your bag is full of baubles you clearly can't stop collecting their furnishings
My professor just told my lab he could drive us around town in his 1991 Lincoln towncar limo for our bar crawl. This just keeps getting better!
Nah leave him alone, he is at the strip club with his mom.
Got baked and laid and ate baked lays when I laid down while baking the brownies I I’m Superman
You’re still high, aren’t you?
Oh yeah
Randomize