i just google imaged poop.
I just saw grafitti that read "Mug The Fart Eater". Really, Memphis? That's all you've got?
you know what sucks? talking to chicks you dont want to have sex with
I just gift wrapped bread.
Last night I dipped into my beer fund to pay for groceries. SINCE WHEN ARE MY PRIORITIES SO WHACK???
And apparently midway I said "hurry up and finish so we can talk about what a bad idea this was"
nothing worse than walking out of class after 3 hours and having covered exactly zero information
walking out with herpes. that would be worse
It's been a long time since I got "Talk about Glen's enormous penis" drunk
Who knew I could feel anymore shameful at the bar than i usually do...I think my bartender recognizes me from the walk of shame out of his house after i hooked up with his son yesterday
SpongeBob is life. I once broke up with a guy bc he said SpongeBob was stupid.
the hot lifeguard just pulled a McDonald's cheeseburger out of her fanny pack.
Clothing is a burden necessitated by propriety.
I was running because his wife invited me to join them on their kinky Vegas weekend. Crossing state lines is too much commitment for me.
I’ll call you later. There’s a jilted trophy wife looking for a revenge fuck at my door
Get your heels and tits on! I’m not wasting a Brazilian because his fucking kid ate paste or Legos and ruined an afternoon suite sex and room service
Randomize
