Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
just a forewarning-if you come home and hang out with your stupid girlfriend the entire time that you are here/fail to get wasted with us i will wish either death upon you or that you truly do turn gay when you return to the navy.
we just ha sex. he lasted two minutes. i told him to leave because i had class
isnt today saturday?
the pharmacist hit on me as i picked up my herpes medecine. i think we found a winner.
hey. so did i get tied up by a jumprope last night?
Chef at hibachi place learned it was my bday and sprayed 20 second count worth of saki in my mouth. Not sure it was the right image to share with my kids, but thought you'd be proud.
They sat at the bar while we waited for a table. When the hostess came to seat us, they were shitfaced, and swordfighting wth chop sticks.
And amler is totally snoring loud as fuck sitting on the steps with her feet in a puddle of soda puke
He follows more cats on Instagram then he does girls.. That's how you know your boyfriend is whipped.
Is her dick bigger than yours?
Nothing says depression like laying in your bed stoned, naked, and eating a cupcake
I'M TOO HORNY FOR GRAMMAR!!!
Doing the walk of shame from the back of a Jeep to the porta potty it's parked next to while your dad watches is not what you want.
I'm not going to waste the next hour of my life writing a diplomatic email explaining that she's bitch. I have Parks and Rec to watch.
Dude I pissed in her little brother's closet and when I tried to flush the doorknob her parents came out and saw me standing there naked, no more ambien for me
Randomize
