oh good, I think they're gone
the painters?
my herpes
You want to go to a white party at LAX
Clubs are lame especially themed ones. Im not in a fucking episode of laguna beach
i wore my purity necklace wen we fucked. but its ok cuz simplified was blasting in the background
hahahaha. im glad listening to simplified justifies breaking ur promise to god
I don't not like him. It's just wierd talking to him because we both know I fucked his wife.
The chick working the drive through at BK on New Years stuck her head out the window and told me there were no line ups for the bathrooms inside so i should go in there. I just kept squatting and peeing and told her it would prob help business.
I feel like we should actually go to church one of these days to thank god for saving us from herpes and babies.
If the fate of the world hinged on some chubby girl getting laid, the president would dispatch me with a fifth of Jameson immediately and then rest easy.
What's protocol when the 18 year old son of an anti-gay preacher sends you a message on Grindr during church?
I just had sex with the Sheriff's Deputy. You should call me.
I have put on lipstick and signed up for class. Nothing more shall be expected of me today.
I mean you're asking high Chelsea. I'd sell myself for a rice crispy
I'm not sure of this happened or if it was just a dream... But I vividly remember you walking down the street naked?
No actually I had socks on...
my favorite part was when you kept waving @ that guy and insisiting it was your cousin..and it wasnt and wondering why he wasnt waving back lol you were legit PISSED
Does sending her to the conference instead of a competent employee and putting her in a suite make up for banging her husband behind her back?
No, but she’ll have a nice memory when she gets dumped and fired on the same day.
There’s a stripper dressed like a slutty pilgrim. Is that a thing?
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