beer for lunch on the first day back to school.... too soon?
he asked me if i wanted "a hit" off his inhaler. its definitely time for a new roommate
I no longer question where these bruises come from... between the strip pole in the living room, the slipnslide in the hallway and our constant level of intoxication I will always be bruised...
She can't meet us until 830...there's no hope for our sobriety at that hour
Would you be mad if I just used the argument "I'm allowed to say that, my best friend is a lesbian"?
Never. I'm proud to help you win arguments.
IT IS CHRISTMAS EVE AND I AM SUPPOSED TO BE HAVING SEX WITH AN ATTRACTIVE BLACK MAN IN THE NEXT FEW DAYS AND I JUST GOT MY PERIOD. WHEN PEOPLE ASK ME WHY I DON'T BELIEVE IN GOD I WILL TELL THEM OF THIS DAY.
Making a me burrito to ward off the cold...and the aloneness of my vagina
Someone came into our hotel room and took our remote
What should I do?
No I don't want to see you. You're the reason that I'm going to need a new liver by the time I'm 30.
he's a ginger AND was born with 2 holes in his penis. sleeping with a rare species & I LOVE THE THRILL
I almost wanna stick a tampon in and sneeze bent over to see if it actually shoots out
FUCK IM ABOUT TO GET A DICK PIC IN THE LIBRARY
George Washington did not fight for our freedom just to have people shit themselves all night
Of two things I'm absolutely sure: 1. I only took 2 hits off that joint and 2. I definitely ran over hedwig on the way home
we just got sex advice from a midget. You better fucking get here.
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