I think she heard me call her a fat skank. But she was to be fair.
yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
Fuck that. Livers are so overdramatic and attention hungry.
No, I'm not okay. Girls are wearing BUMPITS here.
Farmville is her only friend.
i'm pretty sure i lost all sex appeal when he caught me peeing in his bushes
Is it horrible that I want to keep my purple landing strip until after my gyno apt? I feel like someone beside myself should see it...
that's why you don't digest questionable powders from girls wearing tutus at a dirty club
He said I was the "egg mcmuffin" of blowjobs. I'm flattered.
Call me old fashioned but i like to drunk dial a girl 2 or 3 times before sending a dick pic
Also, what is a socially acceptable way to introduce a crossbow in public?
Just had my first american. He tasted like freedom.
Don't do shots out of Tostitos scoops.
I just fell down my stairs, guess that's how my sunday is gonna go
Jus had a dream that I borrowed bob dylans car to save us from a pack of raptors. Pretty stoked about it.
Randomize
