I have demons in me.
omg... punch me in the throat... I am about to lose my mind with my parents.. I'm not saying I agree with the menendez brothers.. but I understand
I would blow Magic Johnson for a pack of lucky strikes right now. Post-hiv.
I'm not working tomorrow. need to take advantage of the last opportunity for weeks of morning sex.
Pretending to care about her feelings is becoming a full time job
Her best friend sent her a random hate text and the song they played at her father's funeral came on the radio. I just got cock blocked by the universe
We really shouldn't need this many nicknames for the women you've had sex with.
Well we went from the roof to the stairwell to an air mattres. One day were going to fuck in a bed
What if there is no right person? Maybe it's just the right cat. Or the right 12 cats.
I feel like I should treat myself every time I find out I'm not pregnant. Is there a pie company that delivers??
He told me he was cooking me a special dinner tonight. His "five star meal" was popcorn in champagne glasses, and chic fil a sauce in jello shot containers to dip the popcorn in. He still tries to convince me he doesn't smoke weed anymore.
feeding cats lunchmeat on my kitchen floor. come pour me another shot.
dude the dog literally grabbed the condom out of the trash can and threw it in the air i'm screaming
So what's it like to be pregnant?
It feels like I'm hungover and when I was drunk I was kicked off a mechanical bull and then trampled.
These girls next to us are doing shots called bath salts. Sadly this is the classiest bar I've been to since i moved to PA
Randomize