im too high. i could barely wash my hair, let alone handle a whole shower
the way i see it him paying 500 bucks for my fake abortion is karma's way of punishing him for cheating on his wife
Its your turn to fuck our RA next time she threatens us with an underage.
being able to look good while almost puking is a skill that takes a lot of puking to develop.
Hey do you have anything at your house 30 ft. tall to throw eggs off of?
speaking of graduation plans, i'm blacked out eating sausage
U handed him a box of flavored condoms, winked, and slurred, "grape juice is her favorite."
Nothing says 'good morning' like waking up only to realize this chick was watching you sleep. She's crazy
I told her I had the flu when in reality I did way too many drugs last night, haven't slept and don't want to sit through a 3 hour buisness meeting trying to figure out which voices are real and which are in my head
shit went down at the bar when this girl with 'morals' totally cock blocked a married guy. she actually kicked IN the bathroom door when they were fucking in there. then we all did shots.
Also, the greatest of ironies: I got shampoo confiscated by security while Corey managed to get pot through. MERICA!
Well my grandma put the turkey in the oven for 4 hours and didn't have the oven on.
Stay away a while longer.
Still not sure if they're cops or strippers.
He finished and he wasn't even totally hard. He actually came without a boner.
HOW IS THAT EVEN POSSIBLE.
She started crying because the Rugrats grew up
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