I just caught myself doing the gator chomp to my tv. I need to get laid.
of course. lets lasso hookers.
it's circumsized.
I think this conversation is over.
you were sitting on your bed looking out the window, rocking back and forth naked, saying how peaceful it looked outside
... thanks for letting me perform minor surgery on myself last night.
I figured if you were smart enough to sterilize with vodka, you could handle it.
Found crayons in my cigarette pack. I can't help but feel you may be responcible.
and my attempt at hiding my drunkness from my parents included walking into the wall as soon as they let me into the house.
I didn't even have time to sit down and the nurse was like: ''You've been having unprotected sex.'' HOW DOES SHE KNOW?!?
Wow just saw this. Nothing like a little anal sex to ring in 2012.
And now she's hand feeding me pork rines and showing me her angry birds high scores. This is Vegas.
He walked away from the girl that just blew him to hook up with another girl, and when she got pissed he just turned around and screamed, "SHE IS LIKE 10X HOTTER THAN YOU!" Then she went on an angry dick sucking rampage. There were 4 victims.
if you fuck our toilet off the wall again, i'm going to be so mad.
I feel like a drive thru vagina
if you want to know how my night is going I just ugly cried in the cheesecake factory
So, I just ordered a breathalyzer for this weekend. I figured if I'm getting shitfaced, I should at least be scientific about it.
I am NOT losing my v-card to a guy who doesn't know my ass from my elbow.
Randomize
