The only thing he got me during our relationship was a cum stain in my backseat. I choose winners.
it took me about 5 minutes before I knew it was in her ass. i thought the first time would be a bit more special
I don't know what's more sad having a rewards account at a liquor store or already racking up 273 dollar points since january
I hope my sperm were as drunk as I was.
Its like fucking yourself in the head with a weed strapon
I got cut off for calling the flower girl a slut. What are you doing?
When you get to his house tomorrow, follow your instincts. Find the cat first.
I got drunk enough that when camel suggested jumping off the pier, I thought it was a fantastic plan. Also my blood hurts.
I sobered up and saw I was with the fat one and you had left laughing with the hot one. You're a terrible wingman, but an excellent manipulator
Who breaks their ankle the day before a beach wedding? This guy. Maybe this is karma for fucking someone's wife? Idk.
If I'm going to keep blacking out this much I need to start taking more pictures.
with the way the semester is going, being a stripper is starting to sound better and better everyday
I've Ubered to the bar three times this weekend to get my car but every time I get there I end up drinking. Still no car.
I dont need your sympathy!!!! Just a fifth of vodka and gummy bears...lots and lots of gummy bears to take my agression out on.
Those brownies did us in. I honestly blacked out completely.
What brownies? Ohmygod.
Randomize
