The spoon I was using to ice my hickey just fell out of my purse while i was paying at the liquor store. I look like an alcoholic with a meth problem.
you used to get mad at me for mentioning 'unprotected sex' and happenings in my bed
well yeah, but then i realized the wisdom of your ways.
ugh the "ive seen you naked on the internet" look is really getting tiring
Note to self: Don't teach the naked lap rule in beer pong until after youve made a cup..
What's the appropriate way to phrase "If you ever leave your wife give me a call. But we can still have sex periodically until then."??
Oh and I guess I added our cab driver on Facebook. He has "liked" every single one of my beach pictures. Kill me now.
After what was supposed to be a one night stand I woke up to a message in my room wall written in marker "Kaitlin got it on in here" definitely a cock block down the road
What's up with the fire hydrant in the laundry room?
I let my daddy issue flag fly free last night.
I want to put in my resignation as an adult. From now on I will be spending my time drinking beer and skiing.
somehow I feel like "adventures with cocaine and molly" wouldn't be an appropriate "How I Spent My Spring Break" essay topic.
Evvvvvveryone knows we hooked up in the DJ booth. People call it the BJ booth now. I've created a legacy
How weird would it be for me to get 1 hour photos printed at CVS of my partially or all nude?
Come over. We have half a bottle of jumbo champagne left and no boyfriends to slow us down
I woke up using a beer can as a pillow. successful party?
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