Fuck U Mike is a golden god.
Mike give steph back her phone.
if only i could text you this smell
Afterwards she kept poking it and saying "it looks so sad and small" I dont know if I wanted to reach this state in our relationship...
I just had a flashback of me saying "I'm not ready to be a deadbeat mom" lastnight.
Theres a picture of me with cut up clothes rolling in the policeman's lawn, I missed you, summer.
All i remember was you crying naked on the bathroom floor because you were cold. I got you a blanket and you kept kicking it off and crying because you were still cold.
Ohhh,that's true. Babies are only fun when you're high. Otherwise, they're the worst kind of people.
Pretty sure that's a used tampon hanging from the tree outside my window.
Come get your sister, she's waving a shoe about and threatened to "teabag the Shit" out of the doorman because she can't check the shoe in.
I'm not even pretending to study anymore. I'm straight up sleeping in the library
*jedi mind trick* you want to go down on me
There were firefighters and a fire truck up the street. I asked what was wrong and their exact words were "Just a tiny explosion; it'll be all right"
I 100% barfed while bumping the DMX remix of reading rainbow
According to Joseph, last night I crawled into bed and told him to pretend I'm his French maid, and then started speaking with a German accent, and referring to his manbits as "ze greatest Weiner schnitzel I'd ever seen". Basically, last night was a roaring success.
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
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