wtf he couldnt undo my bra, i asked him if it was his first time and he said "with a girl? yeah"
I think I'm maturing; i was gonna watch porn and then take a nap but i motivated myself to put my laundry in first.
he just asked if i would like him to change his diet so his jizz tastes better. keeper? i think so.
He ate me out. It was like watching him trying to win a pie eating contest
apparently smacking a customer in the face with his iPhone was not part of the WOW factor we learned in training...
She asked me why there was $2 in the lunchmeat drawer of the fridge and BBQ sauce all over the kitchen... I'm not sure but I know it has something to do with you
Inquiring minds want to know if your Bf is circumcised
We're in the emergency room. He concussed himself trying to pop all the bubbles on my "one bubble a day" wall calender with his face.
It's legal now for me to leave my boyfriend and marry you.
I may have farted on a group of children. It may not have been an accident.
You asked me to pick a color between pink and purple, and I said orange; you told me, "okay, that's a truth question". Then you asked if I had ever deep-throated a cupcake...I didn't even know what to say.
Would you please stop exposing your tits on my couch?
Fuck you, my tits are fabulous
I saw an episode of cops that had one of my ex husbands on it.
and then after the older sorority girl asked me his name she said "he gave me the rest of his mcdonalds and I decided to go home with him. it was the best that I could hope for my night"
I literally am filling up a victoria's secret bag with stuff that would give my parents a heart attack to hide in my roommates' room. This is being an adult when parents visit
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