in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
I just woke up in the back of his van. Bring me a sunkist.
We just followed a woman home because she looked like Jeff Goldblum. Turns out she lives in a trailer park.
hahhahahha. mid doggie-style, i faked an asthma attack. the sex was that bad
His second form of ID was an emergency room wristband from an hour ago. What the fuck is going on right now
Haha yeah he had an allergic reaction to the alcohol earlier. He thinks that if he only drinks vodka he will be ok...
girl in front of me at starbucks just ordered 7 shots of espresso in her latte. welcome to finals week
Good luck! Who knows he might be a stallion in the bedroom! or it could be like having sex with a crayon.
Omg! I'm gonna have a heat stroke. I'm going to collect my sweat and drink it for a buzz and hydration purposes
WHY DO I WANT TO FUCK EVERY GUY THAT BREATHES
Good news: I actually puked in my bathroom, the vomit from the living room was actually from someone else.
That's horrible but hilarious
I'm going to miss college.
I got to see a stripper that did magic last night. It was glorious.
You told me I couldn't make out with you until I added you on LinkedIn
I'm a bit broke right now... Would it be OK if I pay you in champagne and Xanax?
Tried to shave my legs but the rug burn on my knees from last night got in the way.
I put the area codes from ludacris' "area codes" into our expensive data visualization software at work, it's been a productive day
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