i think the next time he gets me off i'm going to scream bangarang
ru fi oooo
you should probably quit with the whole "no homo" thing, especially when you are drunk, "mo homo"gives the wrong impression.
remember what we learned. dont lure girls w/ food at the bar. u dont want those ones
we usually just have an Easter beer hunt and never end up at church anyways
He walked into the party with a case on one shoulder and a boom box on the other of course I fucked him
I'm eating mac and cheese for dinner that way when I puke later it'll be festive halloween orange.
I officially lit my glove on fire while lighting the bong. Winter needs to end.
She just licked her nipple in public to get a free bar tab.
I thought you were single?
I am. But thats cuz no one wants to marry shame and regret doused in tequila. But thanks for reminding me ya dick.
You know it's nice having a girlfriend who will lotion your balls for you
But that's fine. Because I am an independent woman who is going to pull some jane Goodall shit and save the world one day......or be a porn star......either way they are going to wish they had fucked me.
I love you with the passion of a thousand FUCKBOYS during the height of week 1 texting
I'm so high I have morphed into the monopoly man. Or maybe the Pringles guy. I don't know but I have a mustach now
Ben Franklin would totally be a furry.
You're smoking weed and checking Tumblr I take it?
So I just accidentally joined a bar crawl and got a free shotski of Jameson. I love life.
Randomize