Don't bone anyone, just think of ur vibrator lol
HHaaaaaaaaa mmmmn vibrator
He told me I remind him of his sister...
Was this before or after you did it?
before... I mean, it's been a long time. I just tried not to think of it during.
he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
i woke up hungover wearing my gym shorts and the condom from last night. Wine bar thursdays rule.
She's beautiful tan and skinny she will make me hate myself and that's what I need in a friend right now
I am one Jewel song away from suicide watch
Getting my nails done with Diana... I'm going for the keep your friends close and the girl who's dating the guy you want to fuck closer
Jus saw ur date getting a bj in the mcdonalds parking lot...u want anything?
I can't wait to see you again...not a euphemism, just really looking forward to seeing you. Wanting to fuck you as often as possible just seems implied at this point.
In that case, if you come anywhere near my house you can expect to be chased down various streets by a half naked me wielding a baseball bat. No, I am not giving you my address.
Why so serious bruh
I'm not gonna ask the guy I've fucked like 3 times if he is insecure about his eyebrows.
You were staring right at you dick at the urinals, then looked at all the other guys dicks and fist pumped saying "I win!"
I have wine with a bendy straw bitches I can do fucking anything
Cops swarmed my car last night in the walmart parking lot cause of the paper plate
Always great to be boarding a plane when you realize that what you thought was gas is actually very untrustworthy
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