i tried to light my apt on fire. reasons why drunks and women should not cook
"Ever since I killed her kid she be actin' shady." Actual quote overheard at Marine World just now. Oh God.
dude you apologized to her after she called you stupid. you were like "no i'm sorry, you shouldn't have to be around stupid people, it's my fault"
The only pictures he has from one of the biggest football weekends is an album titled "I miss my dog" filled with tons of pictures of his dog and him. This relationship must end.
the choice between paying your electricity bill and getting herpes medicine is a tough one.
You now know someone who has just successfully talked his way out of being arrested for breaking into the town library at midnight. Ive been home for too long.
My suggestion that we all just smoke some weed was greeted with a uncomfrotable silence and a 'maybe later'. These are not our people
Dude, I need a lifestyle change. I'm to old to be making out with chicks in foam parties, letting older chicks get all excited because I let them put their hands up my shirt, and running around doing scavenger hunts with 18 yr old chicks.
He also wore a doorag last night so i had to swipe left.
It turned from Netflix and chill to cringeworthy YouTube videos and chill. At least he's honest.
He was telling me how he was trying to grow up. And then 2 minutes later, he told me he was tripping on lsd for the first time.
I almost had a threesome in a giant beanbag chair. I love college.
Jesus when did you leave my house? I found 2 bottles of wine, vodka, and a book with blow all over it wondering if I was read bedtime stories
I threw up in 4 different Starbucks across the city before 9 am.
all my friends are getting married and here i am in a committed relationship with rum
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