And, I saw Emily's panties. How? She doesn't sit like a lady.
Why are my keys in the refrigerator?
You said "This is gonna really confuse me tomorrow." Apparently drunk you plays pranks on hungover you.
This explains so much.
My eyes got the double whammy. Once with pepperspray from the riot the other with cum. Both of which i did nothing to deserve.
get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
Listening to Joy Division and applying for Walmart. You get to choose which one is more depressing.
I just watched dragonflies fucking. You can't match that level of geek.
in case you were wondering, even a BJ under a blanket on the back of a bus only lifts a 14-hour bus ride to borderline tolerable.
One day. I will touch his hair. I'm curious if it'll be like a soft cloud.
Okay. We're coming naked. We need Saran wrap and plastic forks.
I sent two dick pics to a wrong number and one was in .gif format so it was helicoptering all over the place. I single handedly ruined a child's life.
I'm making a quesadilla and including it in the picture because that's the only way I think I can send her dick pics.
It's called hot rabbit the party if he asks the password is "careful" don't ask
My talents include parallel parking and over reacting about absolutely everything.. And drinking..
If it makes you feel better he's in the stall next to me and I'm taking a diabolical shit. He's complaining
He smells like sex and magic. I’m already naming our children
Maybe you should talk to him first
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