5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
i told her parents not too worry the way i do it girls dont get pregnant
Signed everyone in my dorm up for free samples of astroglyde. Took me an hour. Happy new years!!!!!
She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for
Nah it's cool, I made him pinky promise me he wouldn't die if I left him passed out in the bathroom.
In case you were wondering...putting everclear into a humidifier DOES get you really really drunk.
im drinking italian dressing and watching dexter. its 230am. lets never drink on sundays again.
this whole plan B standoff thing with her is really starting to make me nervous
I am thinkingif I am doing snow Angels in your living room, I probably had too much to drink
I gave up. I'm crying over my notes. Oh, ya know, just another drunk finals week
how many lesbians have to have their hearts broken before they realise I am not that kind of DJ
Girl, that was the lost night of 2012 for me and I have buried that night deep deep away..
I GOT MY PERIOD THIS IS A GLORIOUS DAY I AM TOTALLY GOING TO MAKE PIES TO CELEBRATE THAT THERE ARE NO REPUBLICANS IN MY UTERUS!
He said he'd prefer a photo rather than discuss politics, I sent him a snapchat "conservative shorts 4 conservative man". He said "be liberal"
It shouldn't be this hard to find someone who you haven't blown.
Randomize
