Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
His facebook interests include 'unstrapping velcro'.
you were watching a documentary about sharks and wouldn't stop stroking my legs and whispering "what if they could walk?"
her name was charlotte except you kept calling her chatroulette and yelling at her to show you her boobs
Chelsea passed out in the kiddie pool. Just added around 28 boxes of jello powder. Will let you know how it works out
Out of beer. Salsa pong. Never again.
He stole a bottle of grenadine from the bar. And got arrested. His new cell mate is going to love his bright red lips.
Looks better than the half a blow job I got the other night which I had to finish myself. From a chick I refer to simply as "mom jeans".
apparently my buddy was fucking on our couch downstairs so i decided it was necessary to walk downstairs naked in a hockey mask.
Woke up backwards on a recliner
We kinda got asked to leave the strip club and on the way out, you fell again. When you finally got up we got a standing ovation from the girls behind the bar and you took a bow. It was awesome.
alcohol and riverdancing are a dangerous mix. have a spraind ankle. i die now
It's five in the morning. wtf?
I have alotted at least an hour for ugly crying.
I was covered in mud from my knees down, I smelt like the inside of a port-a-potty and only had mascara on one eye. . . so you know your usual Sunday brunch.
Guess how much it costs to flush your pants down the toilet?
Randomize