Dude. I haven't taken a shit in a week.
Try anal, it works wonders.
I just experienced a full blown christian wedding. I am SO GLAD YOUR WEDDING WASNT THIS.
I just finished washing your number off of my chest. I'm Bryan by the way.
It could have went better. They kicked us out of the casino and I drunkenly whipped her across the face with a fishing pole. Long story.
Dude i'm seriously thinking about his nipples.
You said you were going to take the sideview mirror to your own car so that nobody would steal it. Thats why you woke up with it.
He wouldn't give me a cup of water for my bong so i sat in the drive thru to run up the timer until he gave it to me.
His legs actually look hot in that dress. He might even make a better girl than Josh
dude, where are you? this beer run has taken so long i read war and peace, took a nap, and shaved 3 times.
i sent my dealer a picture of the money i would pay him. i also told him i would pay him in cheez-its if he would prefer that.
I just realized that every possible way I walk to campus I walk by the house of someone I slept with
Like will they card me for my own whiskey in shampoo bottles?
Of course I fucked him. He was wearing a rainbow cock sock and cowboy boots.
Its okay. I just know how you can text with your hands cuffed behind you back, so I had no idea what "oh shit" meant.
I sent her a dick pic and used brett Favre's dick pick. She asked me why I had pictures of old men's dicks saved on my phone... I just can't win bro
Randomize
