Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
When god put her together, he was drunk & feeling creative... a vagina here, sexually ambiguous breasts there, and a pair of shoulders that would make a linebacker jealous
I just found 22 drunken videos and 4 naked pictures on my phone. We'll start the bidding at $5
Just saw a drunk guy marching down the strip with a garden rake. I feel compelled to follw him
At what point during this road trip should I let them know I've been drinking in the backseat the whole time and can't take my turn driving?
Do you knowwwwww you never ha to pee while lhr on eztacy
Dont act like I'm the only one that gets on a plane and picks out the one im gonna have fuck if we have time before the crash
Its the least I can do really, I mean, I did sleep with her husband...
after she rolled over and said 'i'm so glad you're like my gay best friend, love you' then left. did i just get friendzoned AFTER sex??
Do you think the firemen will remember me?
Yes. But you were sloppy, sobbing, and puked on two of them. You won't get in their pants.
Your brother's naked in the courtyard again. Just a head's up.
the only things my left hand does: catch/hold things and masturbation.
It's not even noon and I've had 3 people call me a savage, one of them said it in reference to the blow job I gave them. So I guess you could say it's going to be a good weekend
You got up in the middle of a sentence, puked, came out and poured another glass of wine and continued your story.
Hey? Just a hypothetical. You ever accidentally kill somebody's cat on purpose? Like you didn't mean to but it had it coming? If you're wondering it tripped me while I was walking down the stairs and I landed on it as I fell.
Randomize
