I just learned in bio that our sole purpose for life is to have sex.. so your high number is acceptable. its actually lacking.
So there is a guy driving a robot around the college of engineering selling energy drinks
Already puke and ralleyd and dressed like a bear.
dude, i turned on the light and asked if they were ok and they STILL didn't stop. Most determined sex EVER.
I wanted to be mature but the vodka was resilient.
Last night at McDonalds, you lied across the counter, pulled up your shirt and yelled "BODY SHOTS"...
I really don't think there's anything more liberating than farting.in a loud bar where no one.can.hear you
So Doritos and vodka was obviously not as good an idea as I thought at the time.
I'm so proud of us for not dying.
I think he's trying to finish jacking off before throwing up again
We got kicked out of yet another strip club because your mom wanted to "show these kiddies how it's done"
You haven't lived until you have fucked while Fantasia is on
We probably shouldn't have humped each other in a stairwell for an hour. that was probably my bad
I'm at home 4 xanax deep watching She's all that.. no I don't want to go out. The couch is eating me.
You offered him a “Sorry I Blew Your Brother” Blowjob. How does that make it right?
I promised him it would be better than the one I gave his brother which is really nice of me since their actually only half brothers and his brother is cuter
Randomize
