I feel like I'm back in highscool trying to hide my erections at work
he woke me up at 3 am to ask me where my plunger, a towel, and staples were. i'm afraid to go into my bathroom.
i just found out the cashier has a picture of my junk in her phone.
Asking him not to sleep with other girls is like asking me not to have my period apparently
Dude I walked 1.4 miles through the hotel wearing a cowboy hat, pink topped boots, gucci shades, and a scarf and met my parents in the hallway at 7 am how is this not a good start to Vegas?
Nothing like waking up naked and alone on your floor to remind you that you make life mistakes often.
U thinks that's bad? He told me that he had to envision high school wrestling in order to bust a nut with some girl
Sure. But we have to be quiet.
Ninja mode activated
good news: smoking weed at school again, quality of life has improved drastically
Well I just finished dry heaving so I think breakfast is a little further out for me
Would you consider masturbating to Hocus Pocus an adulthood high or low?
She's in it for that fear factor ya'll. Obsession and stalking or nothing.
It's 5am and I come home to you naked on the kitchen table and 3 people I never saw before fucking on the back porch ... and my weed gummy worms are gone. fuck you I'm taking your mom's offer
You kissed my hand and then put a Taco in it. Why WOUDNT I leave my husband?
I woke up this morning hand cuffed to the bed with three bruised ribs and Amy written in lipstick on my chest... what happen lastnite??
Randomize
