I cant wait to get the disapproving look from this elderly black lady...
McDonalds has hash browns for only a quarter!....how many u want?
All of them
I accidentally asked my mom for a blowjob because 'mom' and 'molly' are next to each other in my address book.
ew. I made a sandwich, and the cheese reminded me of her vagina
why oh why did i suck thise tits. nothing but trouble fuuuuuu
they drunkenly created an obstacle course for the poor hamster and its ball.
you pulled down your pants to convince a girl you were god
before we left she put a post-it on the floor next to the toilet saying she was a pretty pretty princess
Completely smashed, masturbating to the view of the ocean. Family vacations are more tolerable than I thought
I want a MapMyFart App, where I can mark every spot where I have ripped one. Like here.
We call it "Dishes: Hard Mode". Basically whoever is doing dishes gets head but needs to finish the dishes before they cum.
And so far nothing been broken!
you made me suck your tit in the car and kept saying "good boy. I love you so much. good boy."
You told us that you were going to become a 'new man' and threw your tv set out of a window.
That was a beautiful concert to sleep through ...
I know - Don't let me take drugs from strangers anymore
The dentist walked in on me trying to bottle some laughing gas to take home with me. That high.
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