high people should be assigned attendants
we're at Rob's house and just invented the best drinking game ever....we are on Chatroulette and everytime we see a dick we all have to drink.
My face smells like vagina and Im on my way to court. Fuck.
I had a dream that I got a gift certificate to a lavish spa from my father. I think dream dad, along with real dad, think I'm gay.
I have diapers under my sink. trying to convince myself to use them.
She told me I made the cut, and to write my name and number on the white board by the door. I was the 7th number down.
She told me she was eating frosting, then I got the weirdest boner ever
I did not appreciate your texts about spanking at 3'o'clock this morning.
That's the only way to get approved without a guarantor.
WHAT DOES THAT MEAN WHAT FUCKING LANGUAGE ARE YOU SPEAKING
Because drinking and showering don't go hand in hand. There that's my PSA of the day.
the amount of times i have been intoxicated, barefoot, and in a robe at 3 am at the quick check by your house is impressive, especially since i live an hour away
He has started theming his dick pics. I have one he sent his duck has a sombrero on. Another a Barbie is riding it.
He also needs to focus on not being such a little bitch, but that's none of my business.
He licked the buffalo sauce off my fingers and then we had the best sex of my life.
So here I am, sexting at work.
Randomize
