i gave him head before the novacaine wore off...i think his penis touched my lung
I just found a Chris Hansen soundboard online, care to guess what I'll be doing all day?
this guy just used the pickup line "God must have spent a little more time on you" I recognized the nsync lyric immediately.
STOP fucking him and come play in the snow with us!
I just watched my mom open a wine bottle with an electric drill. I have never been so proud.
her name was charlotte except you kept calling her chatroulette and yelling at her to show you her boobs
About to fuck some random fraternity guy I met at a party. I guess this would be the right time to say I don't want to be with you anymore.
I just bought 4 bottles of wine in sweats at 530 on a monday night. Fuck law school
How the hell did he get a boner in that type of situation?
Then I hope you find a set of extremely intelligent, flexible triplets in the ethnicity of your choice.
That is the nicest thing anyone has ever wished for me
He put a canoe in the lazy river at the water and started paddling away from security
I think id rather titty fuck an A cup than deal with what happened tonight again. shits depressing
I don't know whether to laugh it off or be pissed at him..I got pulled over this morning leaving his place and the officer thought my hickeys were hand prints around my neck and asked if I needed to be escorted out of town.
I wouldn't know what to do. You never really mentally prepare for a cactus getting thrown at your face.
Good, but still not as good as the guy I banged in the ball crawl
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