Umm went to talk to a client ended up seeing his semi erect penis. This is my life.
Dating my ex's drug dealer.. best. revenge. ever.
I just encountered the most annoying guy on the planet. I wanted to slap his milkshake out of his fat-boy hands while he was talking to me at the same time as slurping his liquid fat.
I love milkshakes.
Not the point.
I was going through my mom's high school yearbook...almost half the people who signed it referred to her as "Karen Smokejoints", "Confused Karen", or drew a picture of a joint. I have never felt more like her daughter.
we found you outside the hotel room sleeping with a note next to you that said " we made sure you were comfortable, hope your friends come back soon"
She told me that when she orgasms she just lays there like that baby from teenmom. Who the fuck says that
Pizza toast. It's like pizza but on toast. BC we are broke. OMG its so good.
You would never do this sober.
They just showed up to the party with a shopping cart full stolen of naty ice cans, no boxes, just cans. Shit just got real !
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
Ahh good point. I got some interesting mental pics and I'm slowly entering a "fuck it, lets do weird shit" phase sexually, but you may have already figured that out since I've been fucking you sideways and upside down a lot lately.
No. No. No. No one's allowed to fuck in the yurt.
That's the ultimate walk-of-shame: running away from your own apartment and hiding in a McDonald's.
I woke up snuggling a bottle of water while Hercules played on Netflix. Whiskey Wednesdays
If I send you a picture of a dick will you give me your honest reaction?
Yeah well I just had an orgasm on my bathroom floor so there's a first for everything I guess
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