My cousin's dog just exhaled smoke. My job here is done.
then mid-sex he looked at me and said "i hope this is as good for you as it is for me" and kept going.
So, I'm playing the Doctor Who drinking game with my dogs, but they don't understand quite when to drink. Still counts as successful, though, right?
BRING ME THE PLAN B. ILL GIVE YOU A FREE WATER BOTTLE AND A BUMPER STICKER AND SOME BACON BITS
I take it that, because we are not guzzling a box of franzia, everything went alright?
I met a bunch of Germans and said in german "this is for the fatherland" and poured a beer on my head
And that's the fourth pair of yoga pants with unwashable stains from you.
I thought I was pretty much sober now but then I realized I've been eating scrambled eggs with my hands...
There should be an open time period where you show each other your goods and it's totally socially acceptable to bail.
I wholeheartedly concur
Simple math equation: Up till 5 a.m. drinking + up at 9 a.m. for nephews birthday party = puking in the pool
He was respectful of both me and my One Direction calendar.
Thursday is not a good day to become a felon... It's bingo night
He has great stamina, he knows how to use his tongue, and he's hung like a goddamn Pegasus. I can overlook the man bun.
I probably shouldn't be taking relationship advice from my side piece...
Somehow I just turned an entire McDonald's bag upside down in my car and not a single fry fell out. The Lord really does work in mysterious ways.
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