I was wrong being drunk doesn't make accounting more interesting
where does the pee come out of this thing
but what if he tries to talk dirty to me with the lisp?
woke up in a freezing tub of water at 6 am again. probably should stop the drunk baths
she works at a police station now. i think thats the definition of keeping your enemies closer.
so its official, girls can see a boner through my snuggie.
complete strangers are now referring to me as 'the bourbon guy.' i can live with this.
I was talking to some girls while you were falling off your bar stool into the person next to you.
The night took a downhill turn when he started using a butter knife as a spoon to drink his cosmo
He offered to drive me out of state to meet up with my fuck buddy. Like best brother in law ever.
Anxiously awaiting my period drinking Hershey's syrup from the bottle. Don't judge me
Thank you, I really appreciate that. I know I couldn't participate in class tonight and I hope that doesn't affect my grade too much. So please let me know of any extra credit opportunities such as fellatio
It's a sit down to pee kind of hangover
Smoked a joint with my old camp counselor and now we're going to a strip club. There is a god.
I woke up on a navy base in a different time zone. I'm never leaving tallahassee again.
Randomize