shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
so after he got his stomach pumped, he asked for a smoking room.
the girl next to me in class just threw up in a waterbottle during our exam.
well he showed me a naked baby picture and i was right it hasn't grown
Dude you missed it. This guy in the liquor store knocked over a whole display of 5 hour energy with his face.
Who knows. Maybe the world would be a better place if more people sent their drug dealers thank you cards.
Now he's crying and asking for 'the cameras' to come out. The one cop is laughing
note to self: do not snort crushed up caffeine pills in the bathroom by yourself when ur super shit faced, ur face will fucking hate you in the morning.
Oh, that was the alley that I ate a pine cone in.
I just had to close my blinds so my neighbors wouldn't see me drinking a beer at 9 am. GO CHIEFS!
Mike's my new hero. There's a flagpole of hook-up's bras on his porch and a week's supply of beer in his fridge but he still has a great job.
Also, full disclose I puked in a fruit barrel box
I'm studying. I have a really exciting life lol
It's hard to say that sarcastically after having sex in a movie theater
Just learned a very valuable life lesson. Never motorboat a cat when they have claws.
I don’t know how to sext. What do you say? What do you don’t say?
Just start quoting WAP lyrics.
Randomize
