Partly cloudy chance of praying to the porcelin gods
I want to give my boyfriend great head for his birthday...can i practice on you?
He sent me a pic and IT CURVED OUT OF THE PICTURE! Curved. Out. Of. The. Picture.
So if you want this MFM threesome thing to happen the other guy is here and willing
Road construction signs are deceptively heavy
I thi k this dude I fcken showed up to the bar in a raisins shirts. I thought I was better than that. Fuckkkk.
the 5 D's of Dodgeball literally just saved my life
You cannot meet up with him at the tailgate, his parents are there. What are you going to say "Hi I'm the one who fucks your son, can I get a cheeseburger?"
I can't believe we really went to walgreens to use their cork opener, bounced and drank a bottle of wine in a sketchy corner...
I rocked his world in the back of my car in an overly-lit, heavily trafficked parking lot. Middle age is amazing!
The tamale guy is fucking with me, I wanna sleep in he wakes me up; early wake-n-bake and he's late and I'm hungry
I smell like heartbreak.
Tequila and sloppy rebound sex?
How did you know?
I swear I have some evil slut demon in me when I'm blacked out
Don't we all.
idk he wanted to trade sex for a triple order of hashbrowns
AND YOU SAID NO?????????
Just showered and cleaned every bit of sex off of me cuz i have a feelin my stepmom has jesus powers and would be able to smell it on me
Randomize
