either she doesn't know how to dress properly on a sunday morning stroll, or I just saw a 60 year old on a walk of shame
you said you get the best orgasms off Pez dispensers. how do you think he felt????
Ive been sitting around naked watching magic on youtube.
she reminds me of the kind of girl who'd fuck in church if you asked. I can dig it.
there seems to be a considerable amount of hair missing from my left hand. i may have lit it on fire again
Do you think i can prewrite an apology on friday and leave it vague enough to just finish on sunday?
Its not that I'm getting free haircuts... Its just that she is paying for sex with haircuts...
I'm auditing financial statements and ur growing weed this is bullshit how did this happen to me
We're all just looking at each other quietly, hoping that no one brings up last nights shenanigans.
I'm doing running of the bulls tomorrow at 7am...except in New Orleans roller derby girls chase you.
When i like your selfie it means one of two things. 1. thats a nice photo, friend. OR 2. I wanna bend you over a table. But youll never know.
You FaceTimed me to show me he was sucking your tit
There's some random guy here dryhumping my kitchen door. If he is a friend of yours, please come and retrieve him.
I appreciate having someone to objectively critique my dick pics.
I will be the DD but everyone has to call me Mistress
Randomize
