well there was some sort of sex marathon going on in my house last night..jess and i vs my parents...and im ashamed to say that we lost and my parents out-sexed us
Booyah. Found 8000 pesos in my closet and that's apparently 608 US dollars
I'm not sure which is worse. The fact that I slept with him last night, or the fact that you did too.
Actually considered writing down one of the numbers on the bathroom stall. That's how much I miss vagina.
his mom gave me my lost underwear folded up along with the rest of my christmas present. tell me this cannot be happening.
honestly I asked the same thing when we had our slip n slide and margarita party
karaoke mosh pit has descended into fisticuffs, send backup
There is a homeless man handing out free beer on the city bus. He has a cooler and everything. I love this trashy yet generous city.
It wasn't so much skinny dipping. It more like skinny walking...through a fountain.
Look, all I can tell ya is I want to drink wine out of a bottle while you eat me. It would be the most fantastic end to finals week. Maybe ever.
i just tried to use a string cheese as a light source
Leaving my wallet at work and not going out to drink tonight...SIGN FROM THE UNIVERSE.
Munching saltines, sippin Gatorade, and trying not to get eaten by this small horse
Theyll love you, its bunch of older ladies who drink whisky and sours and talk about the sex seans in Game of Throwns
I'm at that stage of drunk where just imagining having sex makes me motion sick.
Randomize
