I have no memory of puking on someone. Was he cute?
With sake I got over my irrational fear of seafood. Now I just fear sake.
The girl sitting next to me in class is writing her to-do list under the title 11/31.
so what if he's got a new girlfriend. the guy i'm fucking has an english accent. i win.
I miss the days when all my weekends consisted of were 69 and crunchwraps
She said she was an education major and you replied with "oh I'm taking a semester off too". And we never saw her again...
he said he wants to do me james and the giant peach style. im afraid of what that means. but moderately excited. wish me luck.
i'm sitting in the second floor bathroom drinking coronas in the shower. do not find me.
I didn't ask for a picture of your soft dick.
That's what you get for doing kinky shit with a guy that lives in his moms basement.
I see the guy who's been trying to get me to let him eat my ass became engaged on Facebook today; would framed screen shots be an appropriate wedding present?
Still alive. Just brushed my teeth with fireball.
Even my conscience is telling me to take this Wednesday's exam buzzed.
I mean, I let him sleep with me after we both ate taco bell sober... That's kinda like love, right?
I'm covered in bruises and scratches. I dont know whether to call them battlescars or sex decals
Randomize
