rough night. sneezed a watermelon seed this morning and apparently I drunk dialed my boss for a ride home. twice.
You put a nerf gun to his head and demanded him to take you to taco bell..
This escort grabbed my boyfriends ass and it became clear, he fucked pretty much anything he could find prior to dating me.
I feel the need to clarify that I did not show her my vagina.
and honestly how many chances will you get to hook up with a one armed guy?
you puked on the porch, i can see your jacket on the floor next to your underwear. i know your home, unchain the door, you're the worst roommate ever.
I'm currently looking through google images of circumsized penises and realizing how vital pre-marital sex is.
I'm giving great sideboob & it's being wasted on my parents.
There is a direct correlation between gooch size and male fertility. Science.
Either of you know why the shower was on and the bathroom door wide open with no one in there at 6 in the morning?
Can you send me the pictures of me riding the penis
You yell at me for giving you beer but not for licking spilled beer off your chest.
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like picking cocaine boogers out of your nose at your parents house.
I have tasted many bathrooms
Pillow talk was a high five, this morning she made dinosaur muffins for the house. I love chapel hill
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