We're like a lot better than the average bears
you know what scares the shit out of me? i have eaten bagel bites since i was a little kid and just in the past five years they started puting "made with real cheese" WHAT THE FUCK WERE THEY USING BEFORE? i mean ive been a bagel biter since the womb
Facebook is used to stalk your friends, Twitter is used to stalk celebritie=s, and Myspace is used to stalk underaged girls. Everything else is porn. T=he Internet in a nutshell.
It's not called being bisexual its called making out with anyone that has a mouth
In a world where you don't want your phone to pocket dial your parents at 2 in the morning while you're running around Florida shitfaced, Droid does.
Judging by her face, I'd say she's at least dabbled with meth...
obviously my window is still shattered. they're pressure washing my condo today. i think i need a bloody mary.
This is the moment in my life where I take a fork in the "nice guy" road ive traveled for 23 years and fuck everything in sight that doesnt have herpes, or is in-between flare ups and I don't know about it until my dick is on fire.
I'm gonna lurk in the mother fucking bushes and watch karma take him down like a gimpy gazelle.
I just brushed my teeth. In the car. With watered down Sprite. From Saturday. Multi-tasking at its finest.
If we accept the love we think we deserve do we also accept the sex we think we deserve?
Apparently "I licked it so now it's mine" doesn't apply to people
Tonight I plan on passing out fully clothed on the table. I don't know where normal people plan on sleeping.
Yes I peed all over myself and lost both my credit cards, who wants to know?
I'm wandering around outside asking things if they are god
Randomize
