It all came flooding back to me: there was a woman with one hand
talk of her extensive whoreness has crossed oceans. thats impressive.
This is the time you want your cat to have telepathy with you. To know if the guy downstairs left.
Before I left he asked me if I could submit my panties for the frat house undergarment chandelier. I said yes
It's official. 2011 is the year of sport fucking
No our divorce decree will not have a blow job clause. Unless my alimony is greatly increased your bj's have been reduced to fantasy status.....
What are you wearing tonight?
The colors of the winddddddd
Its not that hard, just find a girl reading 50 shades of grey and point her my way
We're already drunk. 4 hours to go still. And there's a bear advisory. TOP WEEKEND.
Ps I think male models just broke down outside or maybe gay German sex travelers
Themes for tonight: men who look like bill Gates but sing smash mouth songs. Women who's names are also food. Haircuts that DO NOT cover bald spots.
He could only go see Deadpool without his girl if he was black-out drunk... because spoilers. They're the perfect couple.
Is it bad if I look at someone i dont know and just want to punch them in the face?
She really wants to put my dick in her mouth, and to be honest I really don't want to put it there.
We had a pink drink in honor of my underwear and apparently I made out with our bartender... a few times
Randomize
