We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
I'm sorry for everything. i woke up with two citations stapled to my shirt.
sometimes I think that if I just met him. he would have a crazy realization and fall madly in love with me. what do you say? I'm not just another fan.
He's got serious oatmeal ass...take a moment and admire how google voice to text was able to detect oatmeal ass....twice
Not sure if you carved a butthole or vagina in that pumpkin but that didn't stop high Phil from mounting. My study group is horrified.
He's not so smart and obsessed with sex and lacks listening comprehension skills. I feel like i'm dating a sexually competent sesame street character.
I just spent the last ten minutes making a timeline of my sex life. 2010 and 2011 I am calling "I can't believe Im still clean" years.
I love you. Happy valentines. Satin Patricks dayyyyyyyyyy. Alreadythrew up. Geeeeerait.
You put your name in his phone but not your number then screamed "Open the door!" and jumped out of the car
Sometimes while peeing I'll go hands free, put my arms up by my chest and make claw hands, and pretend I'm a new type of dinosaur called Dickosaurus Rex.
Why did I puke in my shower caddy last night
I cunt my lip shaving. That's not a typo, it's a placement clue
I haven't had an orgasm since 2014. So you cam see why I'm having a bad year.
If you recall, I made a Zoolander reference almost immediately after you pulled out of me the first time we had sex.
Cocaine and dance dance revolution for 4 hours. I consider last night a success.
Randomize
