he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
needless to say, I hope she has to get an abortion again
you were sitting on my toliet with a double cheesburger in your hand asking me how the cheeseburger even got there.
It's shedding
I told you penises don't tan
id like to know how you successfully locked me in your backseat last night
The girl I hooked up with in exchange for Ramen freshmen year is living with the girl I currently wish to bang.
Try oodles of noodles this time.
I don't think I'd trust a marching band with trampolines to not cause serious damage to themselves/ property.
After arriving 30 minutes late, he slowly walked to his desk and halfway there he just falls over like a tree and passes out. I now have some sort of proof as to how awesome that night was.
I just love it. It's warm and soft and the rest of the world is so mean. My bed would never be mean to me
You cannot meet up with him at the tailgate, his parents are there. What are you going to say "Hi I'm the one who fucks your son, can I get a cheeseburger?"
She was doing hand motions and used straws from drinks like those airport light batons to have me back my "747 jumbo dick" towards you.
If you're into enormous nipples, you should ask out my office's receptionist.
WHY DID YOU DRUNK DIAL MY MOM?!
Because mine was sitting on the bar stool next to me...
Like I could say no to two hot people already naked and fucking. Please. I'm not made of stone.
Twice?!
if wiping your ass w an envelope isnt the definition of hitting "financial rock bottom " then nothing is!
Randomize
