found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
Did you just see the Batmobile???
She tried to wake me up by touching my dick. I kept pretending to be asleep.
Eventually the creepy theater major quirks will come out. Probably in bed. Like role playing as the Phantom of the Opera
If this wasn't a work function my tits would be out already.
Her stripper name is Geico. I'm not drunk or creative enough to make this up.
I remember fighting the chubby dude and the bouncer put me in the full Nelson. Woke up this morning with a dislocated shoulder. We need to finish the rest of this beer though
You said that you were drinking out of a pan, and then went on to apologise to 'Jesus and all the other guys' for drinking on a Sunday.
You came over, called every girl Comrade Heather, and then declared that you were an Eagle, and we were your young.
So all in all, a good night.
So I get to my parents and walk in the door so my mom knows I'm safe and alive and my grandpa looks at me and says "were you being someone's bitch". And I about died of laughter
Wow, he seems so solid
Girl in my public speaking class just gave a speech on weaves, God I love community college
I'm gonna go ahead and say I love our drinking habits but anytime we roundhouse a 750 of Schnapps on the way to a non competitive bowling league we might have problems
I think one of your friend's offered my friend chicken tenders back at his place...just FYI he should probably come up w/ another line
This country song on the radio just had a rap break. What. No. Why.
If my emotions are below a 3 or above a 7, I'm crying
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