I just blew up the bathroom at work and now I feel like a new woman
Question: why is there a dildo glued to my kitchen table?
You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
You had already cockblocked me. The cops were just an assist.
stopped you just in time from sledding down the roof.
okay. so this hammed chick got arrested and she keeps trying to make out with the cop. i like her style.
i wanna meet her so much more now that I know she got toed in a hottub.
Omg, looked at my call history, and judging by the times of calls it took me like half hour to walk home frommcds
Letting two friends screw at my place in exchange for weed. This is my life.
U have successfully fucked my brains out. I just almost put deodorant on like chapstick
and if planning a fake elopement keeps me from fucking strangers and doing drugs, i think it's good for me
I fucked him twice and then he set me up with his teammate. This kid does wonders for me
Pretty sure the delivery guy saw me taking a shit this morning
You texted me a picture of some random naked guy. Did you lose your virginity?
Randomize
