terrible decisions. terrible terrible terrible decisions.
who'd you have sex with.
He burnt a smiley face into the screen with a cigarette, peed in my tub and then tried to take off his pants. tried...
So much beer in the passenger seat the seatbelt light is blinking
getting up at 8am to start drinking seemed like a much better idea before I had to wake up at 8am
Blacked out last night, but left myself a note that said "oops on oops on oops" that can never be a positive
You're the Michael Phelps of my vagina. Most decorated Fuckolympian of all time.
Am I going to be on condom boxes?
I dont even think your gonna like what I got you for christmas. If not we can take it back and get drugs.
Theres a point where you stop and say hey....as high as I am on LSD right now ...I`m just a man covered in paint
I think I may be the only girl in the world that can say she has fallen asleep grasping a penis..... 3 different times...... 3 different penises
Owwww. A manager/ employee sex scandal that DOES NOT involve me! SCORE!!!
One three hour marathon fuck session and now she's divorcing her husband. Should I get business cards made?
he sent me a picture of him holding out his pinky so we could pinky promise. i have to fuck him now
He bent me in ways I couldn't imagine.. and im a gymnast.
so i may or may not have just had sex on the stage of the lecture hall....
it's 1043 pm. still havent changed out of the shirt i wore last night so at this point i figure i'll go for twosies.
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