Taylor Swift is so right about you.
if you don't open the door right now liz is going to get pregnant
dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
I told him that he is like a snow storm I never know when he is coming, how many inches I will get, or how long it will last
I sharted in my sleep... I didnt even think that was possible.
Went biking. Saw homeless guy beating in the park. Thought of you <3
some drunk guy just paid $3 for each cig that i picked up off the ground. the cigs that he threw on the ground. I might just follow him the rest of the night
We'll I told him I wanted to keep it PG last night, but then later I asked him to take his pants off. So i'm guessing it was my fault.
I fell asleep after the worst sex of my life and now I'm snowed in with him. SEND HELP. CALL FEMA. GET ME OUT OF HERE.
i seriously haven't spoken to him since i drunk dialed him and told him i loved his beard
I'm attracted to him because he looks like the kind of guy who would lick my asshole without me having to ask.
Do you want to talk about dinosaurs?
Wanna bang and Pregame work? I know you're the manager just promise to not fire me
dont ever go to laser tag drunk. you will be judged.
is it sad that the highlight of my saturday night was waiting till 3 in the morning to hear about your saturday night?
Randomize
