I have decided that a Nickelback cover band would be the pinnacle of loserdom.
I just farted. And everybody around me is looking at the fat girl to my left. I win.
We just stood on the porch wondering how you managed to puke up a whole piece of bologna
I only have two playlists on my iPod. One for when im getting drunk, one for when I'm getting high. Is this something to be worried about?
She started to rub her ass on my shoulder and i instantly thought "i am going to get E. Coli"
DO NOT GO IN OUR BATHROOM. it cannot be unseen
I see you've set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public.
My kindergarten teacher served me... All coming full circle
i know it happened because it happened right beside me, and at one point on top of me.
Oh my god. I just realized something amazing. If I get pregnant with a boy, that technically means I have a penis right??????
Weirdest sensation ever: having your penis fall asleep. It was like tiny hulk hogan was choking it out
You used a fucking bud light like as lube last night. I'd get a UTI test like stat.
I wish I was there so i could bitch slap his incredibly sexy face
U just kept yelling her vagina wasn't a priority bc u had a bowl of cheerios calling your name
I had to cum in my sink.
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