The world would have a new energy source if someone would just take a blacklight to the backseat of that slut's car
I guess you don't realize how much twelve bags of chips are, until they're all over your floor.
i just hugged the lady at the liquor store goodbye for the summer...
It honestly wasnt my fault this time. i was in shock. WHO THE FUCK OWNS A PEACOCK?!
can we get together and have a vodka water gun fight? i need to get som intense excersise/alcohol
I had a dream she was puking on me, but sadly in real life she was puking on me too
True life. I have to get a nose job due to a deviated septum from blowing coke. Thank you college.
I just heard my parents fuck. What. The. Fuck. My rooms right under theirs.. My dad barely even lasted a minute. Im almost ashamed..
He told me he wants to eat me out all day while I lay in bed watching football. Seems like a solid foundation for a relationship to me.
If your plan is to re-bang every girl you banged in high school - you're gonna need a spread sheet and clip board.
I'm pmsing and only have one functional foot
I mixed Jack with hot chocolate. This may be the best or worst idea ever. I have yet to find that out
sitting in a shitty karaoke bar playing pokemon go and drinking a mimosa. how is your sunday night
its like i get a dick upgrade with every new guy i screw, at this rate i'm scared to see my next one
Its like people have to train for months before they try and drink with us and survive...
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