My husband just tried to seduce me by saying we can do it doggystyle so you can watch tv
when im not freaking out about dying alone and unloved, i actually really enjoy being single
I showed him my bush... on skype.
There's some strange man with hair that keeps talking to us. I'm scared.
This is how horror movies start. Going to bar with strange hair guy. He's paying. Bad idea?
Ditched hair man. Got free cab ride to market. Want food. I win.
I fucked him in a hamburger. literally. he has a hamburger bed.
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
I feel like I should come with a warning like "Orgasm free since 1983"
I just took a shower and I feel like 20 pounds of sex just came off of me.
At what point during this road trip should I let them know I've been drinking in the backseat the whole time and can't take my turn driving?
I DON'T CARE LET'S GET DRUNK AND GO. I STRAIGHTENED MY HAIR DO THIS FOR ME.
I tried to convince the Lobo Card people to take my pic with my sunglasses on because I will probably always be this hungover.
Don't worry I'm alive. The apt is all locked up so I'm sleeping on the patio. The frozen pizza I got might be toast unless someone lets me in soon. If not its all good I'll be here snoring on the patio
I just pictured my inhibition personified as little pink piggies with wings flying off into the great wide nowhere hahaha
It's been two whole weeks and I haven't missed a single class. I deserve 69 blunts.
Like what? And no, shrooms cannot be party favors.
Randomize
