I just masturbated at work. Does that make me a prostitute since i just technically got paid to have sex?
dude u gotta turn down the techno when u bang that chick its creepy
I would drag my balls through a mile of broken glass to eat pudding out of her anus
bouncer thought i was tryin to get the license plate numbers of strippers to stalk them. I had to go show him where I threw up to get back in.
Sorry I never showed up last night. It was between spending time with you and our freinds or having violent multiple orgasims. I chose the low road.
...Saturday night. Get your dick ready. We are going to go nuts. I want to have sex fucking everywhere.
I said you have to fuck the german guy and take one for the team...it's a once in a lifetime opportunity you know.
You'll get a boner for sure
Way ahead of you. Kinda awkward while paying rent but hey
Youre not supposed to get arrested if your parents fly you home for christmas!
True but this has the bonus of them maybe not wanting to fly me home next year, im good with that didnt wanna go in the first place.
Who spent today in nothing but a vajazzle and candy thong? SORRY NOT SORRY
First day back to class and I have already pulled out the hard liquor
we went to go get waffles and then i sucked his dick in a parking lot. average tuesday.
I couldn't even tell you how many times I've said "wrong hole" today
Do you know this guy sitting in front of us? Asking for my vagina.
is 250 jello shots considered an open container?
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