i can juggle bunnies
cool
on fire
At what point did I decide it would be a good idea to fill my contact case with vodka
i just threw up a quarter into the urinal in the bathroom at the bar. everybody else stared then cheered. that drunk
I woke up at 6 on his trampoline wearing only a parka.
He thinks MY vagina is tight. That's saying something.
I just watched a girl in the library pull a vodka bottle out of her bag. I think I'm going to give her my number.
the guy in the stall next to me, came in, farted, laughed, and proceeded to give himself some sort of hillbilly pep talk that included the phrase "big pussy".
full cup flip cup was not exactly the reason I wanted to tell the cops when I was sleeping on the curb
when i saw his roomate the next night he kept openly referring to me as "the girl who orgasms loud" when he would try to get my attention
How am I feeling this morning? Well, besides the fact that my vagina looks like a pair of giraffe's lips and I'm walking like an over-confident cowgirl, I'm fantastic. Thanks for your concern.
I'm a professor! I can't be caught chasing the liquor with you hooligans once the undergrads have seen my face
I'm cooling my balls with a beer because I'm too cheap to turn on the AC
She paid me 300 bucks to spank her and call her Baby Jane. Then we drank half a bottle of sippin whiskey. I'd call it a twelve out of ten.
I would be down to associate sex w taco bell
It's very finicky. Like baking. or BDSM.
Randomize
