you laugh because clearly you have never had to clean poop out of a tub
Seriously, stop peeing all over the toilet seat. It looks like movie theatre butter.
he's mad because you were 'slandering his penis'.
Absence makes the cock grow harder.
when i spit it made a heart shape. i think it's a sign
well right now he's telling us a story how he befriended a racoon
Remeber when I drunkenly made out with him this summer while he was getting bitched at by his girlfriend on the phone? Yeah, neither do I. But I'm pretty sure that same thing happened again last night.
I had to physically hold you down to stop you from going out the window naked. You put up quit the struggle.
Upperdeckered the toilet. Took sombrero off, drawing too much heat. Witnessed glassing. In bush, come findme.
Definitely just puked in this corn maze. Families are staring.
Actually, you don't want to see me.. reached an all time low drinking kahlua out of the bottle concealed in a macdonalds bag
Okay, who took a picture of their pubes shaved into a dragon on my phone and made it the background?!
See, thats where im at with my life, welcome to the slut yaht we will be cruising comfortably all summer at an extremely drunken relaxing pace S.S. Slut Bucket
If you can get her to make out with you without paying for it, I will personally make you president of the american lesbian league
Just realized i left my bra at his house. WHY do i suck at one night stands?!
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