i may or may not be watching the land before time
That girl would be great looking if she lost 1000 pounds and cut off her head.
should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
His ankle bracelet only gets in the way when I'm trying to take off his pants.
you woulda been proud of me tonight though. i only made out with 2 guys. and in my defense one of them was to get a job after graduation.
i've eaten like 19 popsicles... what the fuck have you done today?
Robert just walked in drunk, grabbed my Jameson from me, told me to let him do his thing, and spilled it all over the coffee table. Then he told me to grab a funnel because he was going home.
he forgot we were at my place and not his so he tried kicking me out of my own apartment by saying "so, you can go whenever you want...."
And I might have stolen a bag of Doritos out of Matt's car and hid them in my bag and gave individual chips out to people dancing, trying to convince people they were mini tacos.. Like why Am I allowed to be an adult
You asked me what the point was. Told me your were dying alone and then had me take you and Wendy's where you bought 3 meals and ate them in about 10 minutes saying you didn't care if you got fat...
the straight edge chick smoked with me, because according to her my bowl is pretty
Am I the only one who saw the used condom in the driveway this morning
I have no idea what happened last night, but my pee is neon green.
i had to call the bar to ask if they found my bowling ball. That good of a night
All I can taste is Pickle Juice and Cocaine.
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